H.Kishie Singh is based in Chandigarh and has been a motoring correspondent for newspapers like The Statesman, New Delhi and The Tribune.His column ‘Good Motoring’, for The Tribune ran for over 27 years. He has been also been the contributing editor for magazines like Car & Bike, Auto Motor & Sport and Auto India. His latest book Good Motoring was published recently and has co-authored a book with The Dalai Lama, Ruskin Bond, Khuswant Singh and others, called The Whispering Deodars.


Sunday, 18 October 2020

BOB HOPE’S HUMOUR

 

BOB HOPE

Some memories stay etched in the head forever. The Bob Hope movies are one classic example. In school, my friend and I would make a bee line for the cinema hall where the Bob Hope movie was playing. He had to be one of the greatest humours and entertainer the world has ever seen!

 

His words and humour lives on.

 

With all the grim news worldwide, much needed laughs from old friend Bob Hope...

 

‘On his deathbed they asked him where he wanted to be buried. Bob Hope replied: "Surprise me."

 

ON TURNING 70 - "I still chase women, but only downhill."

 

ON TURNING 80 - "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”

 

ON TURNING 90 - "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

 

ON TURNING 100 - " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

 

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) - "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them."

 

ON GOLF - "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

 

ON PRESIDENTS - "I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six."

 

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER - "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham."

 

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL - "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

 

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY - "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."

 

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS - "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."

 

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES - "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

 

ON GOING TO HEAVEN - "I have done benefits for ALL religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."