1. If you take an Oriental person and
spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called
Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much
as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it
disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie
so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture
taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the
piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a
racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy
opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean
opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced
onety one?
12. "I am" is reportedly
the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I
do" is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and
clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians
denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dog trainers debarked, and dry
cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on
the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. Why do they put pictures of
criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can
look for them while they deliver the mail?
16. You never really learn to swear
until you learn to drive.
17. No one ever says, "It's only
a game" when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people
who spend £2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling
Evian backwards: NAIVE
19. Isn't making a smoking section in
a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from
diarrhoea, does that mean that fifth one ENJOYS it?